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I took exactly ONE science class in college. Let us know who we left out in the comment section! The first time you go home with her, you realize she has an entire wall in her room where she tapes up her festival wristbands and the wrappers from tabs of acid.
You worry about her drug consumption and her often-strange taste in clothes. Is it a skirt or a tapestry? Bra or bandanna? The Wiccan Priestess Occupation: vegan tattoo artist Drug of choice: the high she gets from casting hexes on rival tattoo artists in town First date: attending a burlesque show. She attends new moon gatherings at some weird commune all the way out in Canton, and refuses to say whether or not they are sexual events.
Her teeth are ever so slightly fang-like, and you have literally never seen her laugh. So Taurus of you. Three days later, a dead rabbit appears on your doorstep. Really, the edgiest thing about her is the fact that she has she has a cross tattooed on her underwear line. It had to be easy to hide, because her parents threatened to stop paying for nursing school if she got a tattoo.
She lives at the Verge or some other boring apartment complex built inand decorates her apartment with inspirational quote decals and art from Target. Cause of breakup: you break up with her when she drunkenly asks you how many kids you want to have. On her ankle, she has a poorly healed stick and poke tattoo of an alien head that she got in the dorms when she was drunk.
Cause of breakup: The Orange Peel staff confiscates her fake I. You have no idea what kundalini energy is sounds sexual! When you bring up cultural appropriation and how she should maybe vote in the midterm elections, she tells that you that white people are oppressed too, and the best way to change the world is by shifting our cosmic consciousness with breathwork.
Your recently divorced manager is just FINEthanks! She is the queen of self help, and attends Pure Yoga on a weekly basis to get back in shape. At the employee Christmas party, she gets absolutely wasted with you, and you have an unfortunate tryst while her kids are asleep. Forgot the elitist baristas. The ones who mistake conflict for abuse. And constantly judgement slinging assholes who slither around this town without care or caution.
And will she do the same for the trans community and the gender fluid? This is Asheville, after all. Too funny, I hope people take it in the humorous nature in which it is intended. I know and love many local women that fit many of these generizations. Platonical love, that is. I look forward to the next ones for Men, and lgbt etc. You need one thats a fucking hair stylist and works downtown and is a witch and had those scissors tattooed all over her and cheetah print and drinks a ton and shit. Love this BTW. A shitty opinion and judgmental attitude does not mean you are qualified to be a writer.
I will be sure to have asshole repellent spray and use it if you come near me. Get a job. Like a real job. Something you could actually be good at and are qualified to do, otherwise, this would be a rag. Save my name,and website in this browser for the next time I comment. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed. Asheville News. August 29, Also, she cried.
Article. Next Article. Big Al September 7, Reason for breakup: he sobered up and got his vision back. Jack September 5, Interesting to see the responses here compared to her article. Gerard Butler September 4, Curious September 4, Betsy Shoolbred August 31, SoCrates August 31, Katherine Becker August 31, This post is highly offensive and demeaning to women. Shame on you. Cheyenne August 30, Jax August 30, Repellent User August 30, Jeff August 30, The words and pictures below were originally posted to social media, mostly ….
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6 Girls You’ll Sleep With before you leave Asheville