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Times have changed. Now, you can find true love without jury duty or fake tears. But I promise you that the following old-fashioned flirting tips still work in any century. You see an attractive stranger squeezing avocados in the fruit aisle. But approaching that sexy stranger is fraught with peril. You could get rejected.
Or, even worse, get rejected AND look like the creeper who hits on strangers in the fruit aisle. In the novel The Adventures of Huckleberry FinnTom is tasked with painting a fence, but he has better things to do. So he gets his friends to do it for him. You are not going to approach a scary stranger.
You are going to get your friends to do it for you.
For example, say I am with a male friend, and he spots a woman he would like to meet. I will then go up to her and start talking to her. Sometimes I will simply compliment her shoes. Usually, this le to a twenty-minute debate on why kitten heels are the perfect height. Prove me wrong. Did you go to XYZ University? Women are rarely threatened by other women approaching them. Then I will simply pull my male friend into the conversation and make the introduction. He is not the predator guy hitting on women. He is just the innocent bystander who got pulled into a discussion on the merits of kitten heels.
I then excuse myself once the conversation gets rolling. My fence painting duty is done. Forget blowing your nose.
Every gesture with a handkerchief held a hidden meaning. If the lady drew it across her cheek, she loved you. If she twisted it in her right hand, she loved another. And if she threw it over her shoulder, she wanted you to follow her. But I believe you dropped this. Just play along. These were simpler times. And yet. You can try this age-old trick by dropping various items in his path — a scarf, a sandwich, a glove, etc.
Bonus points if you actually own a handkerchief. Unless his foot is stuck in a bear trap, most men will chase after a woman to return her dropped item. But of course, once he returns your errant glove, you still have to open the conversation.
You need to throw a bit more chum in the water. So instead of just thanking him, add a quirky detail to the lost item. For example. My sister would have killed me if I lost her favorite scarf. Or try. Do you think it is running from me? Most people like to feel helpful. And when a stranger does a good deed for you, they cease to be a stranger.
Which brings me to my next vintage playbook move. Maybe it was his dead animal hats, or maybe it was his bifocals and sparkling bon mots. Either way, Ben Franklin was an avuncular heartthrob. He was so charming that he even has a psychological phenomenon named after him — The Ben Franklin Effect. One of the elite men in his circle his name is not recorded kept trash talking Franklin behind his back. Franklin was too much of a smooth operator to resort to fisticuffs. Nor was butt-kissing his style. Instead, he would take down his opponent with psychological warfare — he would trick his hater into liking him.
The hater was flattered that Franklin had asked for his help and sent the book along. Franklin, in turn, sent a thank you note. And when they finally met in person, the hater treated Ben like his new best friend. So how did Franklin turn a foe into a friend with a simple request? The Ben Franklin Effect works because it gives others a chance to invest back in you. When we invest in someone, it tricks our brain into thinking we like the person. Think about it. In other words, our actions become our beliefs. Here are some openers:.
Most strangers are flattered to be the hero as long as you approach them in a playful, good-natured way. As someone who wishes instant messaging never replaced messenger pigeons, I believe flirting should have more feeling. But if these flirting tips sound too cloying, you can always try another classic approach — simply go say hi.
The worst that will happen is she might have a burly boyfriend standing behind her, or he might have a posse of tattooed ladies piercing you with the death stare. Just have your dueling pistols ready. Editor of The Grim Historian. Contact: CarlynBeccia. in. Felicia C. Forget dating apps.
Carlyn Beccia Follow. The Tom Sawyer You see an attractive stranger squeezing avocados in the fruit aisle. Here are some openers: Ask for directions. Especially if you are actually lost. I am looking at you stereotypical male. If you are at a bar or restaurant, ask a stranger for drink or food recommendations. What is good here? Can you settle a debate we are having? Need more conversation starters? I Love You Relationships now. Relationships Love Psychology Humor History. I Love You Follow.
Written by Carlyn Beccia Follow. More From Medium. Alone in a Crowd. What do men really think about thigh highs? Ilyssa Panitz in Authority Magazine. Alexis B. I Love You. Family Lawyer Aliette H. Shannon Ashley in Honestly Yours.
Making friends in your thirties is dating in your twenties, but I have a plan.Good old fashioned flirting
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