Where are all the lesbians at

Added: Tenia Markham - Date: 05.03.2022 16:59 - Views: 40609 - Clicks: 4131

The rest of the issue is written as usual, with Andrew Sullivan responding to dissents — read that full version here.

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Get the Dish every Friday. Sitting on the couch watching TV earlier this month, my wife read to me a headline from her iPhone. Lesbian bars have always been vastly outed by bars for straight people and gay men, but in the s, there were more than lesbian bars in the U.

What happened? Well, a lot of them sucked. The first lesbian bars I went to in my early 20s were dank, smoky caves where women in khaki shorts and backward caps grinded on each other to Outkast. They could have been frat bars if not for the notable absence of men. And there are the dating and sex apps. Granted, apps for gay men seem to thrive while ones for gay women tend to be both anemic and unfortunately named.

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The first lesbian dating app was called Brenda, which sounds about as sexy as a house full of cats. It no longer exists, so I assume Brenda moved out to the country with her wife. If gay bars, bathhouses, and clubs go extinct, it will be because of Covid, not because of infighting over inclusion.

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Most of my peers saw lesbians as stodgy, old-fashioned, and uncool, whereas queers were hip, edgy, and inclusive. I propose we all start using the Kinsey Scale instead. Not long ago, it would have been the Christian right stigmatizing homosexual women. Where did this come from?

For the next decade it was largely limited to queer studies, then it leapt to the Internet — spreading from Tumblr and queer blogs to the mainstream media and the general public. InPew Research found that one in three members of Gen Z knows someone who goes by gender-neutral pronouns.

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And this makes sense: If your deepest desire is to live as, and be seen as, the opposite sex, why would you want to dismantle the binary concept of sex? According to the National Center for Transgender Equalitymost trans people identify as either male or female, period. For some enbies what the nonbinary — NB — call themselvescoming out is often more superficial than surgical.

Jocelyn Macdonald, the editor-in-chief of the lesbian site AfterEllen, has seen the NB ideology pushed by well-intended people and she worries about the unintended consequences. This is not a popular position in some queer communities, and AfterEllen is routinely accused of being transphobic. But there are plenty of anecdotes. After I put out a call on Twitter asking lesbians for input, my inbox filled with s from women who said vast portions of their friend groups have adopted new labels and pronouns. But none feel like they can openly discuss it, which is apparent by the who asked to remain anonymous: all of them.

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I do not know how things were in olden times for the elder gays, so I admit that a paucity of lesbian friends may in fact be normal for twentysomething gay women in left coast liberal cities, but I like to imagine there was some Arcadian past where short-haired women in Carhartts could gather in groups greater than two. She lives in Seattle. Another young lesbian I spoke to told me she used to identify as both nonbinary and trans.

Some feminists argue that women are so oppressed in society that opting out of womanhood is a way of opting out of oppression.

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Besides, enbies are more likely to be Smith undergr than, say, immigrants getting assaulted at the border. But humans are social creatures and we are easily influenced by our peers. And young women, in particular, are prone to social contagion. When I asked Tara if social contagion could be the cause of the nonbinary movement, she paused for long enough that I thought she may have hung up the phone. That, I suppose, is the optimistic way of looking at it. We lose our name. We lose our sense of self. We lose our ability to gather.

And the more taboo it becomes, the less of our history gets told. Please her at dish andrewsullivan. This is an excerpt of The Weekly Dish. This week on the Dish podcast, Andrew is ed by Dana Beyer, a remarkable advocate for trans rights and an old friend of his — more details here.

Well, partly about dog testicles ovaries make an appearance too. I have a podcast, which I co-host with fellow Substacker Jesse Singal, and there's a lot of overlap with the issues Andrew covers here in The Weekly Dish.

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So if you like Andrew or if he infuriates youyou might like us too. The Weekly Dish Subscribe. About Archive Help Log in. They're coming out as nonbinary or as men. Katie Herzog. Ready for more? See privacyterms and information collection notice. The Weekly Dish is on Substack — the place for independent writing. This site uses cookies. Katie Herzog Nov 27,

Where are all the lesbians at

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Where Have All The Lesbians Gone?